Sir:Samndar me nimbu ka ped ho to kaise toroge?
Santa:Chiriya ban ke.
Sir: Aadami ko chiriya teri MAA banayegi?
Santa:Samndar me ped tera BAAP lagayega?
Santa’s wife hit him on the head with the frying pan.
Santa: What was that for?
Santa’s Wife: I found a paper in your pocket with the same BASANTI on it.
Santa: I bet on a horse last week and BASANTI was the name of my horse.
Santa’s wife: Oho Sorry
Next day she hit him with the frying pan again.
Santa: now what happened?
Santa’s wife: your horse is on the phone.
Santa tells his dad, “Pappaji there is this kid in school who calls me gay”
Santa’s Dad:” Oye beta then punch him!!!”
Santa: “ No papa he is sooooooo cute!!!”
Officer Santa: Madam swimming is restricted in this lake.
Lady: why didn’t you tell me when I was removing my clothes?
Officer Santa: That is not restricted.
Santa’s wife: Oye JI stop looking at other women you are married now.
Santa: Arre you mean if I am on diet I cant look at the menu also?
Santa and Banta were looking at an Egyptian Mummy at a museum.
Santa: Look so many bandages, pakka lorry accident case.
Banta: Yes you are right. See lorry number is also written BC 1760 !!!
Teacher: Which animal flies in the air, but gives birth to young ones on land?
Santa (excited for the first time because he knows the answer)
Santa: AIRHOSTESS!!!!
Banta: When I get mad at u, u never fight back. How do u control ur anger?
Preeto: I clean the toilet.
Banta: How does that help?
Preeto: I use ur toothbrush.
Santa bought a car on loan... He didn't pay the dues, the bank took away his car.
Santa: If I knew this, I'd have taken a loan for my marriage also!
Santa: "When I woke up this morning, I felt like going out and getting a job."
Banta: "Did you?"
Santa: "No. I stayed in bed until the feeling passed."
Frog: Tumhare paas dimaag nahin hai.
Santa: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai.
Santa: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai & jumps into the well.
Santa: Isme suicide karne waali kya baat thi.?
Santa went out to buy an Indian flag. The shop owner gave him the flag.
Guess what did he ask next...
Ismein aur colour dikhayiye.
Santa Q: Why dogs don't marry?
Banta Ans: Because they are already leading a dog's life!
Santa Singh while riding a cycle suddenly hit a girl!
The girl shouted: Ghanti nahi maar sakta tha!!!
Santa: Poori cycle to maar di ab ghanti alag se maroon??!!!
Santa calls Air India. 'How long does it take to fly to Amritsar?'
'Just a sec,' says the customer service assistant.
'Thank you.' says Santa and hangs up.
Banta: Oye yaar Car ki speed itani ky badha di..?
Santa: O kuch nahi yaar Car ki break fail ho gayi hai, Accident ho jaye iske pahale ghar pahunch jaate hai.
Santa Singh decided to start a chicken farm so he bought a hundred chicks to begin with.
A month later he returned to the dealer for another hundred chicks because all of the first lot had died.
Another month later he was back at the dealers for another hundred chicks, for the second lot had also died.
'But I think I know where I'm going wrong,' said Santa. 'I think I'm planting them too deep.'
Santa had twins; he named them Tin & Martin.
Again he had twins & named them Peter & Repeater.
Again he had twins & named them Max & Climax.
Next time he had twins, disgusted Santa named them TIRED & RETIRED!
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