Wonderful Definitions

School 

A place where Parents pay and children play 

     
Life Insurance 

A contract that keeps you poor all your life
so that you can die Rich.

 

Nurse: 

A person who wakes you up to give you sleeping pills.

Marriage 

It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.. 

 
Divorce 

Future tense of Marriage.

 
Tears 

The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower. 

 
Lecture

An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of  the students without passing through "the minds of either" 

 
Conference 

The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present. 

 

Compromise 

The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece 

 
Dictionary 

A place where success comes before work 

 
Conference Room 

A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on 

 
Father 

A banker provided by nature 

 
Criminal 

A person no different from the rest 
...except that he/she got caught 

 
Boss 

Someone who is early when you are late and  late when you are early

 
Politician 

One who shakes your hand before elections and
your Confidence after 

 
DOCTOR 

A person who holds your ills by pills, and kills you by bills. 

 
Classic 

Books, which people praise, but do not read. 

 
Smile 

A curve that can set a lot of things straight. 

 
Office 

A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life. 

 
Yawn 

The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth. 

 
Etc. 

A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do. 

 
Committee 

Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together. 

 
Experience 

The name men give to their mistakes. 

 
Atom Bomb 

An invention to end all inventions. 

 
Philosopher 

A fool who torments himself during life, to be wise  

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